Tuesday, May 29, 2012
Angels
Sometimes I see them, my angels. Almost like a gust of wind, or a strand of hair passing by. But I know what they really are. I've seen these "things" my entire life, but never accredited them to be angels. I'd be driving and out of the corner of my eye, I could see someone in the passenger seat next to me. I'd look, and of course the seat was empty. I never thought I was seeing angels until coming here to WA. Now I see them at least three times a day. They're in cars, down the street, by my side, around the corner. Yesterday for example, I was feeling especially desperate and discouraged. It was past pick-up time but I wanted to continue knocking because I hadn't made a sale yet. I didn't want to give up until I closed a sale. However, my speech was getting slower, along with my feet, and I knew my chances of getting one were about zero. My emotional, mental, and physical capacities were close to extinct.The words of Christ whispered into my ears "My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?" I dropped my head down, completely ashamed of myself for thinking that. "Who do you think you are, Andrea?" Then I saw a man watching me. He was standing six feet ahead of me, under a tree. "I can't have anyone catch me looking discouraged." I thought. My eyes shot up so I could send him a successful, professional smile. But when I looked, no one was in sight-there was nothing but trees, sidewalk, and houses in front of me. My heart swelled and I knew without a doubt that he was one of my angels. With tears and a smile I gazed up toward heaven and said humbly "thank you for sending angels. I can do this." Although I butchered each and every door approach I delivered for the rest of the day, I can proudly say that I never gave up. Angels were there to give me strength in my every foot step.
Wednesday, May 9, 2012
It's a Wonderful Life
Today was such a fabulous day, nothing in the world could bring me down. All I want to do is break out into song "WOOAAAAHHHHHHH sometimes I get a good FEELING yeeeaaaahhhhh. I get a feeling that I never never never never had before, no no. I get a good feeling. yeah"
I can not say this enough times: I would not be here if I did not have faith in Jesus Christ. Knocking door to door and facing rejection/failure every day is excruciatingly difficult. Doing something completely out of my comfort zone and against my nature is close to impossible. I know that eventually, I'll be able to do this well, but right now I am really struggling. I can't wait to be good at this. I've never been satisfied with mediocrity; especially when it comes to myself. I want to be the best. I hate not being the best, and it pains me to be weak. I know I need to be patient with myself because this is my first year doing this, but my tank of patience has been empty for days.
Especially when I spend an HOUR with someone, give them the greatest deal of their lifetime, for the best product on the market, and yet they STILL WON'T COMMIT! Yes, I'm frustrated. But I know I can do this! I will make another sale!
I've discovered that I'm really weepy when I'm stressed. I tear up all the time, either because I'm discouraged, or because I'm filled with hope. I'm a nut-case.
I'm so freaking happy that it's sunny this week! I LOVE sunshine! Rain is great, but sunshine is the BEST!
Goals suck. I hate them. Goals make me want to kick something because I can't reach any of my goals.
I love the atonement and the power, strength, comfort, and healing that flows from it. I love this massive, ominous trial that is forcing me to rely wholly on Jesus Christ every minute of the day. My plan for this job was to make lots of money to pay for school without getting into debt. Apparently, Heavenly Father has different plans for me. But that's okay. I need to remind myself each morning to forsake my will and trust that His will is always far better than my own.
Life is so painfully wonderful.
I can not say this enough times: I would not be here if I did not have faith in Jesus Christ. Knocking door to door and facing rejection/failure every day is excruciatingly difficult. Doing something completely out of my comfort zone and against my nature is close to impossible. I know that eventually, I'll be able to do this well, but right now I am really struggling. I can't wait to be good at this. I've never been satisfied with mediocrity; especially when it comes to myself. I want to be the best. I hate not being the best, and it pains me to be weak. I know I need to be patient with myself because this is my first year doing this, but my tank of patience has been empty for days.
Especially when I spend an HOUR with someone, give them the greatest deal of their lifetime, for the best product on the market, and yet they STILL WON'T COMMIT! Yes, I'm frustrated. But I know I can do this! I will make another sale!
I've discovered that I'm really weepy when I'm stressed. I tear up all the time, either because I'm discouraged, or because I'm filled with hope. I'm a nut-case.
I'm so freaking happy that it's sunny this week! I LOVE sunshine! Rain is great, but sunshine is the BEST!
Goals suck. I hate them. Goals make me want to kick something because I can't reach any of my goals.
I love the atonement and the power, strength, comfort, and healing that flows from it. I love this massive, ominous trial that is forcing me to rely wholly on Jesus Christ every minute of the day. My plan for this job was to make lots of money to pay for school without getting into debt. Apparently, Heavenly Father has different plans for me. But that's okay. I need to remind myself each morning to forsake my will and trust that His will is always far better than my own.
Life is so painfully wonderful.
Whirlwind
This post is SUPER OUTDATED. Sorry, I forgot to post this after I finished writing it.
Whirlwind.
That's the best word I can come up with to describe my Provo experience. I went through all sorts of emotions, met all kinds of people, and discovered so many new things about myself. Things like: I really hate television, and if I don't leave the house at least twice a day, I go insane. Another shocking new discovery is that I enjoy taking out the trash. It's true, folks.
I can't believe this period of my life is over, and change is knocking on my door again. I have to keep reminding myself that I asked for this. Back in December, I was still in my adventurous mood, but now I'm in my "let's settle down and get comfortable" mood. Perfect time to switch things up, right?
My bedroom is making that awful echo sound that rooms only make when they're too empty because the people living there are either moving out, or haven't quite moved in yet. Both scenarios give me feelings of uneasiness. Bah.
Okay, so I know this is public, but if y'all don't mind, I'm going to write this post for my future self. There's some things I don't ever want to forget about these past few months.
This scripture a whole new significance in my life
"To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven." Ecclesiastes 3:1
December needs it's own category because that was one of the most difficult months of my life.
Christmas sucked for these reasons:
Valuable lessons learned:
First of all, Andrea, you need men in your life. I thank the Lord that I'm going to be surrounded by a plethora of them this summer. Holy cow, living with 5 girls, while it is super fun, is also exhausting and dramatic. Like when you're having a mopey day, the last thing you need is a tenderhearted girl to pout her lips and say "aww, I'm sorry, are you having a bad day?" No, what you need is a lighthearted male to say "hey, come watch the game with me and listen to this funny thing that happened!" Home teachers, boyfriends, and even the pizza delivery guy can offer some much needed testosterone. However, women are incredible and they play a crucial, special role in my life. I love my sisters, roommates, and girlfriends dearly. My roommates have been the perfect dosage of love, laughter, and learning. I absolutely know that I needed to meet each of these amazing women. Miriam taught me not to settle, Analee taught me to be thankful, Ke'ala taught me to voice my beliefs, Brooke taught me to be loyal, and Jessica taught me to be patient. I thank the Lord every day for placing them in my life. Also, the women I've met through church have been angels and shining examples to me. I'm grateful to be a part of the Relief Society, because it has given me the specific opportunity to serve and care for three phenomenal sisters on a personal level.
It's okay to laugh and take life a little less seriously sometimes, especially when so many things in life are very much out of your control.
Taking a picture a day was one of my best ideas. Holy cow, if you ever need to be more grateful, or be more aware of Heavenly Father's presence in your life, take one picture a day.
Luke. Need I say more? Oh, yeah I do. Douche-bag...Yep, that's good.
I don't think it was a coincidence that Kayla and I seemed to be going through the same challenges, and struggling with the same issues at the exact same time, without fail, for the past 4ish months. She has been such a huge source of strength and comfort. Don't you ever take her for granted.
Oh and James, holy crap he is heaven sent. Andrea, you can't lose contact with him.
Hey, you are capable of opening your heart up and letting people in quickly. Stop fooling yourself: your heart is not under lock-down. In fact, it's painful to leave Provo because of that fact. Get rid of the nonsense in your head that says you're slow to trust and even slower to love. Actually, I think I've opened my heart up too fast a couple times while I've been here, and it has caused me a lot of heartache. But I don't regret it one bit. "Our hearts are like flowers. Both the dirt and the sunshine help it grow." I love to love.
Remember that special experience you had in Farmington? Well, these past few months have been evidence that Heavenly Father follows through with His promises when you fulfill your side of the deal. Opportunities to serve, bless, and inspire have been all around me. I'm grateful for the times I chose to "do the right thing, at the right time, without delay."
I'll forever cherish working alongside Analee to beautify Marilyn's front yard. Then admiring her house full of antiques and heirlooms.
Smoothies are the bomb. I'm going to miss Ke'ala's professional blender. I need to get one for myself! Oh, and bananas are required if you want the smoothie to be sweet.
To Do: Go back to Sundance. You love it there. But next time, maybe you should try snowboarding.
Being vulnerable is the most uncomfortable and difficult thing in the world, but it reaps the most rewarding benefits. Along with that, always hearken to every prompting. Everyone is struggling with their own battle each day. You never know how huge of an impact you can have on someone.
Being single sucks. Get over it.
My favorite lesson that I never want to forget from my time here in Provo is this: I complain too much, I constantly forget what's most important, I'm too quick to judge, I'm inconsistent, I procrastinate, I have a tendency towards depression, I'm an anal clean freak, and basically imperfect in every way. But that's exactly how Heavenly Father wants me. The atonement only works if I need it, and that's what it's there for. I know in whom I've trusted. Jesus Christ is my foundation and my Savior, and giving my heart to him is all that really matters.
Bring on the next adventure.
Whirlwind.
That's the best word I can come up with to describe my Provo experience. I went through all sorts of emotions, met all kinds of people, and discovered so many new things about myself. Things like: I really hate television, and if I don't leave the house at least twice a day, I go insane. Another shocking new discovery is that I enjoy taking out the trash. It's true, folks.
I can't believe this period of my life is over, and change is knocking on my door again. I have to keep reminding myself that I asked for this. Back in December, I was still in my adventurous mood, but now I'm in my "let's settle down and get comfortable" mood. Perfect time to switch things up, right?
My bedroom is making that awful echo sound that rooms only make when they're too empty because the people living there are either moving out, or haven't quite moved in yet. Both scenarios give me feelings of uneasiness. Bah.
Okay, so I know this is public, but if y'all don't mind, I'm going to write this post for my future self. There's some things I don't ever want to forget about these past few months.
This scripture a whole new significance in my life
"To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven." Ecclesiastes 3:1
December needs it's own category because that was one of the most difficult months of my life.
Christmas sucked for these reasons:
- No family
- No Arizona
- No Opa
- No employment
- No family
- No Texas
- No Tradition
- No plan for the future
- No family
Christmas rocked for these reasons:
- The light of Christ
- Amy McDonald and her family, and their hospitality
- Growth
- Skype dates
- MTV's "Guy Code" offered some humor
- Time to write in my journal
- The friendship and laughter of children
- A goal piggy bank
- Spending time with 4 separate and equally amazing women whom I've missed intensely
- Introspection
- "Win a Date with Tad Hamilton" allowed me to admire Josh Duhamel's beauty
- Reunion with my favorite show, Friends
- Dancing in the kitchen
- Sunshine gleaming through the windows and illuminating the house
- Snow, although there's been very little of it
- Running with one of my best friends
- Change
- A yummy pasta concoction
- Lots of home-baked goods
- Faith
- "Bittersweet" by Shauna Niequist
Valuable lessons learned:
First of all, Andrea, you need men in your life. I thank the Lord that I'm going to be surrounded by a plethora of them this summer. Holy cow, living with 5 girls, while it is super fun, is also exhausting and dramatic. Like when you're having a mopey day, the last thing you need is a tenderhearted girl to pout her lips and say "aww, I'm sorry, are you having a bad day?" No, what you need is a lighthearted male to say "hey, come watch the game with me and listen to this funny thing that happened!" Home teachers, boyfriends, and even the pizza delivery guy can offer some much needed testosterone. However, women are incredible and they play a crucial, special role in my life. I love my sisters, roommates, and girlfriends dearly. My roommates have been the perfect dosage of love, laughter, and learning. I absolutely know that I needed to meet each of these amazing women. Miriam taught me not to settle, Analee taught me to be thankful, Ke'ala taught me to voice my beliefs, Brooke taught me to be loyal, and Jessica taught me to be patient. I thank the Lord every day for placing them in my life. Also, the women I've met through church have been angels and shining examples to me. I'm grateful to be a part of the Relief Society, because it has given me the specific opportunity to serve and care for three phenomenal sisters on a personal level.
It's okay to laugh and take life a little less seriously sometimes, especially when so many things in life are very much out of your control.
Taking a picture a day was one of my best ideas. Holy cow, if you ever need to be more grateful, or be more aware of Heavenly Father's presence in your life, take one picture a day.
Luke. Need I say more? Oh, yeah I do. Douche-bag...Yep, that's good.
I don't think it was a coincidence that Kayla and I seemed to be going through the same challenges, and struggling with the same issues at the exact same time, without fail, for the past 4ish months. She has been such a huge source of strength and comfort. Don't you ever take her for granted.
Oh and James, holy crap he is heaven sent. Andrea, you can't lose contact with him.
Hey, you are capable of opening your heart up and letting people in quickly. Stop fooling yourself: your heart is not under lock-down. In fact, it's painful to leave Provo because of that fact. Get rid of the nonsense in your head that says you're slow to trust and even slower to love. Actually, I think I've opened my heart up too fast a couple times while I've been here, and it has caused me a lot of heartache. But I don't regret it one bit. "Our hearts are like flowers. Both the dirt and the sunshine help it grow." I love to love.
Remember that special experience you had in Farmington? Well, these past few months have been evidence that Heavenly Father follows through with His promises when you fulfill your side of the deal. Opportunities to serve, bless, and inspire have been all around me. I'm grateful for the times I chose to "do the right thing, at the right time, without delay."
I'll forever cherish working alongside Analee to beautify Marilyn's front yard. Then admiring her house full of antiques and heirlooms.
Smoothies are the bomb. I'm going to miss Ke'ala's professional blender. I need to get one for myself! Oh, and bananas are required if you want the smoothie to be sweet.
To Do: Go back to Sundance. You love it there. But next time, maybe you should try snowboarding.
Being vulnerable is the most uncomfortable and difficult thing in the world, but it reaps the most rewarding benefits. Along with that, always hearken to every prompting. Everyone is struggling with their own battle each day. You never know how huge of an impact you can have on someone.
Being single sucks. Get over it.
My favorite lesson that I never want to forget from my time here in Provo is this: I complain too much, I constantly forget what's most important, I'm too quick to judge, I'm inconsistent, I procrastinate, I have a tendency towards depression, I'm an anal clean freak, and basically imperfect in every way. But that's exactly how Heavenly Father wants me. The atonement only works if I need it, and that's what it's there for. I know in whom I've trusted. Jesus Christ is my foundation and my Savior, and giving my heart to him is all that really matters.
Bring on the next adventure.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)