We all know the story of Lot's wife, right? She lived in a very wicked city that was on its way to destruction. So the Lord commanded her and her husband, Lot, to "escape for thy life; look not behind thee, neither stay thou in all the plain; escape to the mountain, lest thou be consumed."
With some doubt and hesitation, Lot left for the hills, but unfortunately his wife
"looked back from behind him, and she became a pillar of salt." Genesis 19:26
I've been thinking about this a lot lately, I really mean, a LOT. (I just made a pun, haha)
*funny side story: as a child when learning from the Bible and Book of Mormon stories, I would always identify with "the good guys" but slowly through life experiences I've realized that I'm much more similar to "the bad guys" than I ever thought. I can't help but laugh because I'm relating to Lot's wife whereas before, I thought I only related to righteous and obedient Lot.
When I was in Washington selling security systems, let's be honest here, I was struggling. Each morning I would wake up and pray that everything from the day before could be erased and forgotten, so that my current day could be filled with hope and success. After a few weeks of this pattern, I began to get extremely frustrated, almost angry with myself. I thought "how pathetic am I? I can't do a single thing right, not even for one day! My efforts are insufficient; I have to start anew every morning! Why can't I just have two consecutive days of greatness? Is that impossible!?" A few days later, as I was reading general conference talks, a certain quote by Jeffrey R. Holland zapped my heart and changed my attitude.
With some doubt and hesitation, Lot left for the hills, but unfortunately his wife
"looked back from behind him, and she became a pillar of salt." Genesis 19:26
I've been thinking about this a lot lately, I really mean, a LOT. (I just made a pun, haha)
*funny side story: as a child when learning from the Bible and Book of Mormon stories, I would always identify with "the good guys" but slowly through life experiences I've realized that I'm much more similar to "the bad guys" than I ever thought. I can't help but laugh because I'm relating to Lot's wife whereas before, I thought I only related to righteous and obedient Lot.
When I was in Washington selling security systems, let's be honest here, I was struggling. Each morning I would wake up and pray that everything from the day before could be erased and forgotten, so that my current day could be filled with hope and success. After a few weeks of this pattern, I began to get extremely frustrated, almost angry with myself. I thought "how pathetic am I? I can't do a single thing right, not even for one day! My efforts are insufficient; I have to start anew every morning! Why can't I just have two consecutive days of greatness? Is that impossible!?" A few days later, as I was reading general conference talks, a certain quote by Jeffrey R. Holland zapped my heart and changed my attitude.
"Every day ought to be the start of a new life. Such is the wonder of faith, repentance, and the miracle of the gospel of Jesus Christ."
Oh my gosh! Are you telling me that what I've been doing is exactly how it's supposed to be? Am I really doing things right?? Because this entire time I've felt like all I do is try and fail, try and fail repeatedly. And does this mean that the wonder and majesty of the infinite atonement of Jesus Christ has been imperceptibly working in me each and every day!? I'm flawed, broken, foolish, and desperately in need of a "new life" each morning; and you're telling me that this is how Heavenly Father wants me!?!
HALLELUJAH!
I put that quote up on my bathroom mirror and read it to myself each morning. Then, anytime I started to think negative thoughts about myself or my situation, I would repeat those words in my head, and believe them. This made all the difference.
Currently, I'm not in Washington anymore, and I'm not facing failure and rejection every day like I was, but I'm still in desperate need of a "new life" every morning.
You know, this is one of the things I love most about Jesus Christ- he's our creator. First he's our physician, because he takes us and clears out the pain, heals our broken heart, patches up wounds, and stitches us up real good. But the atonement doesn't end there. We're promised that we can have a new life, not an erased one. With humility and submissiveness, which I'm still working on, Jesus Christ can create us into something glorious and beautiful; someone a little more like Him.
"Come, follow me" He says. Change. Progress. Improvement. It's a miracle, indeed.
But faith and repentance aren't accomplished without heavy opposition. Lot's wife and I can both attest to that. For every thought that says "I can do this, I will move forward and stay hopeful." The antagonist pipes in and says "look at my track record, there's no hope for me. I'm good at failing, I'm not good at succeeding. Why don't I stick with what I'm good at?" It's a constant fight to feed the thoughts of faith and hope. There are times when it's easy to give in to that evil destructive voice. Because giving in requires no effort, no faith, and no work. I hold no judgement against Lot's wife because I understand what she went through. It can be hard to let go of the habits you're used to, or the friends you love, and the sins that are easy. But I've learned for myself that looking back and longing for the past-whether it be yesterday or 10 years ago is-a flat-out sin because it denies the reality and miraculous power of my Savior, of His sacrifice, and His personal atonement for me. Faith is not a passive thing-it's an arduous leap and a straight up climb. Faith comes in and says "sure, what I had was great, it was comfortable and familiar. But what Heavenly Father has prepared for me is more than I can possibly imagine. So I'll let go. I'll shut that door and continue to walk forward, celebrating that I have a bright future- regardless and completely irrelevant to my past. And when doubt creeps in again and again, I'll look it straight in the eye and say 'I will trust and be not afraid, for the Lord Jehovah is my strength and my song."
HALLELUJAH!
I put that quote up on my bathroom mirror and read it to myself each morning. Then, anytime I started to think negative thoughts about myself or my situation, I would repeat those words in my head, and believe them. This made all the difference.
Currently, I'm not in Washington anymore, and I'm not facing failure and rejection every day like I was, but I'm still in desperate need of a "new life" every morning.
You know, this is one of the things I love most about Jesus Christ- he's our creator. First he's our physician, because he takes us and clears out the pain, heals our broken heart, patches up wounds, and stitches us up real good. But the atonement doesn't end there. We're promised that we can have a new life, not an erased one. With humility and submissiveness, which I'm still working on, Jesus Christ can create us into something glorious and beautiful; someone a little more like Him.
"Come, follow me" He says. Change. Progress. Improvement. It's a miracle, indeed.
But faith and repentance aren't accomplished without heavy opposition. Lot's wife and I can both attest to that. For every thought that says "I can do this, I will move forward and stay hopeful." The antagonist pipes in and says "look at my track record, there's no hope for me. I'm good at failing, I'm not good at succeeding. Why don't I stick with what I'm good at?" It's a constant fight to feed the thoughts of faith and hope. There are times when it's easy to give in to that evil destructive voice. Because giving in requires no effort, no faith, and no work. I hold no judgement against Lot's wife because I understand what she went through. It can be hard to let go of the habits you're used to, or the friends you love, and the sins that are easy. But I've learned for myself that looking back and longing for the past-whether it be yesterday or 10 years ago is-a flat-out sin because it denies the reality and miraculous power of my Savior, of His sacrifice, and His personal atonement for me. Faith is not a passive thing-it's an arduous leap and a straight up climb. Faith comes in and says "sure, what I had was great, it was comfortable and familiar. But what Heavenly Father has prepared for me is more than I can possibly imagine. So I'll let go. I'll shut that door and continue to walk forward, celebrating that I have a bright future- regardless and completely irrelevant to my past. And when doubt creeps in again and again, I'll look it straight in the eye and say 'I will trust and be not afraid, for the Lord Jehovah is my strength and my song."
“Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day. You shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense.”
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
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