Success

Hello again blogging world,
Well, this is awkward. I've always struggled with the beginning of conversations, paragraphs, stories, etc. Don't you ever wish you could just jump right into the middle of things? I do.
This is not at all how I expected things to turn out, but here I am, packing up my things to head back to Texas, back to live with my parents, quitting my job early, and preparing to serve a mission. My thoughts and feelings are jumbled and confusing. Again, I have to tell myself that change is good, and doing what I'm afraid of is what I live for. These past 2 1/2-3 months have felt like 4 years, and now this door is shutting. I'm trying not to let myself panic.
My fear of failure has crippled me my entire life. It has prevented me from improving myself, from trying new things, from asking for help, and from participating in so many wonderful endeavors. But I know I'm not alone in this. Every human being has the same two biggest fears in common: failure and rejection. It's like these fears are embedded in each person's DNA. Okay, so maybe I'll never be able to eliminate my fear of failure, but I've definitely made significant progress toward that direction.
When I signed up for this job, my definition of success was "reaching your goals." and it looked like 50 grand. Well my friends, I'll tell you that I did not earn the $50,000 I was hoping for; I didn't even come close to it. However, I am not a failure, and I have experienced a summer full of success.
How can that be? Because what I earned in wealth does not represent, or even compare to what I've developed in character.  
I now understand the concept that I'm sure my parents have been trying to teach me for years. Success can not be seen or measured from the outside. It can not be given a grade, or a number, or a title, or a salary. Success is as unique as we are all individual. Therefore, it can not be compared. Success is not always prosperous, and it is never perfect. Success is small and quiet and humble.  
I no longer set goals to achieve them. I set goals to work, to learn, and to keep trying. It goes along with the theory that life is not a destination but a journey. And success can be claimed in every step.


“To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children; to earn the appreciation of honest critics and to endure the betrayal of false friends. To appreciate beauty; to find the best in others; to leave the world a bit better whether by a healthy child, a garden patch, or a redeemed social condition; to know that even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded.” 
-Ralph Waldo Emerson