Lunch Break

As I barbarically stuff my face with a juicy turkey "mooyah" burger during my lunch break, I can't ignore this enormous sense of love and presence the Lord is sending my way.

At this very minute, wanna know how I know He loves me?

Because this burger is perfectly satisfying in every way.

Because it feels like Christmas outside :)

Because my friend called me today with the best news I've ever heard :)

Because I was born in a land that worships burgers, and all sorts of red meat.

Because He inspired a Southern California family to establish In N Out. And it's dang good!

And because that same family decided to branch out to all the places I've lived.

Because these two adorable kids, sitting at the table next to me, are teaching me how to be more Christ-like.

Because He created garlic and onions...the world's best, and most universal  spices.

Because He blessed me with a love and obsession with all things sugary, sweet, and delectable.

Because He continues to place angels in my life disguised as family, friends, and strangers.

Because objects better than money grow on trees...apples, olives, lemons, pears, grapefruit, cherries, pomegranate, you get the idea :)

Because Ruth Wakefield accidentally invented chocolate chip cookies over 80 years ago and I get to enjoy them now

Because He has spared my life, even though I've probably poisoned my body several times with salmonella, due to the hundreds of pounds of raw dough/batter I have consumed in my lifetime.

Because He speaks to me on a daily basis.

Because He blessed me with a big stomach and a fast metabolism.

Because He gives me opportunities to change, learn, grow, fail, stretch, and succeed.

Because right now, in this moment, inside this fast food restaurant, I can feel His love for me, and no explanation, no evidence, no reasoning is needed.

Beliefs Ablaze

“Let your loins be girded about, and your lights burning.” 

Luke 12:35

My blog title, and the thought process behind it, makes me think of Katniss Everdeen. She is the heroine from Suzanne Collin’s Hunger Games series. If you’ve read the books then you'll understand why. For those who haven’t, (I highly recommend them by the way) Katniss was referred to as the girl on fire. 

Since this blog is written by me, and about me, I obviously wanted a title that would reflect that. Yet, being the difficult person that I am, I couldn’t have something simple and straightforward like “Andrea’s Adventures” or “The thoughts of Andrea.” Besides being completely uncreative, those titles are also too “Andrea” focused. I needed to have a title that was vague and thought-provoking. One that related to me, but wasn’t about me specifically or directly. I wanted a title that could relate to all of us. Yep, I do have a problem with over-thinking things sometimes.

I prayed for some inspiration, and asked my best friend if she had any ideas. She insisted that I should incorporate “light” into it. So I went to the best resource guide on the internet, thesaurus.com, and searched for synonyms to “light.” My eyes were immediately fixed on “ablaze” and I just knew that I had to use it in my title. But what in my life is on fire? “Beliefs Ablaze” instantly came to my mind and I knew I had found my title.

“The light of the body is the eye: if therefore thine eye be single [to the glory of God] 

thy whole body shall be full of light.” 

Matthew 6:22

You’ve heard the saying “sow a thought, reap an act. Sow an act, reap a habit”….and so on. Well in my opinion, it doesn’t start with thoughts exactly. I think it starts one baby step back from thoughts, with beliefs and desires. We are all, at our very inner cores, a string of beliefs and desires. For example, I believe that chocolate is unhealthy. I desire to eat chocolate. I think eating chocolate is satisfying enough to ignore my belief. Then I act by indulging in Ben and Jerry’s Half Baked Chocolate Ice Cream. So you see, take away beliefs and desires, and you’ll take away what make me an individual. Furthermore, if you work hard enough to change your beliefs and desires, then you’ll be able to change your thoughts, actions, habits, character, destiny, and dare I say…the world?

“Let your light so shine forth before men, that they may see your good works, 

and glorfy your Father which is in Heaven.” 

Matthew 5:16

So here I am, Andrea M. S.-the result and summation of beliefs and desires…how APA (American Psychological Association) does that sound? But wait just one second, I am more. I am a living eternal soul with inherent energy, faith, love, passion, spirit, and the light of Christ. Throw in what really makes me human, and now I’m illuminated, moving…on fire. We all are.

 “Ye are all the children of light, and the children of the day: 

we are not of the night, nor of darkness.” 

1 Thessalonians 5:5

So what do you believe? Are you living in a manner that allows your beliefs to consume you? Let us set our beliefs on fire. Let us allow our beliefs to spark and grow within us. So that together, our flames can combine and set ablaze the world with beauty, light, and the glory of God that is in all of us.

“the day is at hand: let us therefore cast off the works of darkness and let us put on the armour of light.” Romans 13:12

“Verily I say unto you all: Arise and shine forth, that thy light may be a standard for the nations” 

Doctrine and Covenants 115:5

Hi, Dad.

From the time I was born, prayer has been an integral part of my life. One of the only glimpses of my childhood that I can remember is the scene of my parents tucking me in at night and whispering a bedtime prayer with me...along with a short song. I feel small, peaceful, and loved when I think back on those memories.
As I continued to grow, prayer quickly became the only source of comfort for me; the only constant reservoir of power and strength. At a young age and with simple faith, I relied heavily on prayer to keep me from sinking into fear and complete misery. As my world (as I saw it) was crumbling on all sides, God was unchanging and invincible. It was during these difficult times that I allowed my Father in Heaven to carry me in His arms because I went to Him in humble prayer.
Slowly and almost imperceptibly, I digressed from communing with my Heavenly Father, to speaking repetitious prayers, to not communicating with Him at all. I thought of myself as a good person, but I had lost my personal relationship with God. Consequently, I was not making good choices, or being a good friend, or living a Christ-centered life. Therefore, light and happiness were diminishing from my life and I went through a period of darkness.
I can not point to the exact turning point, because I don't think there was one. It was through a process of humility, repentance, obedience, and lots of effort that I began to make prayer a part of my life again. Finally, prayer changed from being a chore, to being a significant part of my day, of my thoughts, of my soul even.

This last Sunday I was having a hard time. I've noticed that Satan works really really hard to bring me down on the Sabbath. He is so irritating! I may be filled with love and joy, but there's a little piece of negative energy that's trying to poke it's way into my heart. (stop it!! Just let me be happy!) Well, this past Sunday, I made room for that pestering negative...thing. I couldn't even put it into words. I couldn't vent about it to a friend because I didn't know what "it" was, I just knew that "it" was there...hindering my peace.
I carried this with me until Monday night. I spent the evening with three of the most fabulously beautiful ladies this world has ever seen. We had a splendid time together, as usual. Thankfully, and divinely, I had to take one of these wonderful women home.
Our 15 minute drive turned into about a 2 hour heart-to-heart. (and I am NOT complaining!) I listened intently as my dear friend shared with me the things that had been burdening her. Through the things that she shared, I was able to discover, and to place the negative "thing" that had been bothering me! I was elated! Before she left the car to go inside her house, I stopped her. "wait, can I just vent to you for a second?" "of course!" she replied. So I let it all out, dispelled all of the weeds and made room for flowers to bloom...and oh, did they ever! I will forever be grateful for the advice my wise and inspired friend shared with me.
"Talk to your Father." she said. "Talk to Him like you're talking to me now. Be honest. Tell Him the desires of your heart. Tell Him what you want your life to look like." "okay" I said. (duh, of course Andrea, prayer cures all problems.) She interrupted my thoughts with "But don't you dare start off your prayer with 'Dear Heavenly Father.' He doesn't want to hear that, He wants to hear from you. He's waiting to talk to you. He LOVES when His children talk to Him. He'll be listening. When I'm feeling down, I start off my prayers with 'Hi it's me, you know who it is. We need to talk.'" (haha, don't you just love her?) She was so right. I embraced her and promised I would heed her advice as I drove to my next destination for the night.

For the first time in my entire life, I opened my prayer with
"Hi, Dad."
Immediately, I felt His presence. What followed was the most delightful and heavenly car ride I've ever experienced. I just chatted with Him, talking as if He were my best girlfriend, holding nothing back. Basically, we went on a Daddy-Daughter date. I know He was beside me in the car, just like He had been in the past. But this time was different. I wasn't asking for forgiveness, or seeking guidance, or pleading for blessings. I was simply sharing my heart and soul with my Dad. My Dad who loves me, who knows me intimately, who wants to see me happy.
I'm confident that He enjoyed our conversation as much as I did. I felt loved, empowered, energized, and accompanied by His Holy Spirit. I felt justified in my feelings, and not for a second did I feel irreverent or disrespectful. Undoubtedly, "to every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under heaven." (Ecclesiastes 3:1) There is a time to submit to His will, and there is a time to express the desires of your heart.
Our "Hi, Dad" talks will now be the most treasured and anticipated conversations I have with Him.

I am grateful that God is our King, Healer, Governor, Creator, Master, Judge, and Ruler. But above all, I am immensely grateful that He is our Loving, Eternal Father in Heaven.              

write.

I'm not sure what format this blog is going to take: a journal, scrapbook, tutorial, dream recorder, novel, list-keeper, diary, who knows! I just need to write. This need and craving to express myself is boiling in me, almost to the point of a rage, and writing is one of the most expressive and therapeutic ways I know how. This is going to be raw, unpolished, and unpresentable. But it's also going to be utterly honest, freshly emotional, and 100% Andrea; which is exciting, scary, daring, risky, liberating, and humbling all at the same time.
I feel irresponsible and defiant right now. I have clothes to hang up, songs to practice, hair to fix, and a dinner to pack. Yet, here I am, lounging in my sweats, sitting at my desk, typing some thoughts into the computer.
I have a voice, and it is begging me to let it be heard. For the longest time, I held this belief that what I thought, felt, perceived, and experienced was everything but notable. Yeah, my life mattered, but not enough to be shared. For so long I've been working on being quiet, being a peacemaker, being an intent listener. While inside I've been fighting my desire to speak, to question, to maybe even be frank and opinionated. Not-uh. No more fighting this. Not me. Heavenly Father did not bless me with my personality and strength and testimony so I could be a quiet bystander. No. He has called me to be a leader and example-to stand up and stand out. How could I ever accomplish those things by being quiet? I will not be ashamed of the gospel of Jesus Christ. I will not be ashamed, any longer, of my past, my inadequacies, my opinions, my beliefs, my passions, my faults, or my talents.
By letting my light shine and by making my voice be heard, it will only "...burnish more brightly the symbol of Him whose name [I] have taken upon [me]. And so [my] life must become a meaningful expression, the symbol of [my] declaration of [my] testimony of the Living Christ, the Eternal Son of the Living God."
-quote adapted from Gordon B. Hinckley

Sing, Andrea.

God has blessed me with the capability and desire to sing. Unfortunately, the singing world is brutal and competitive. Evidence of this can be found on basically every TV station today. For some time, I was so intimidated by the talents and work ethics of others, that I felt ashamed of what I had to offer. Yet deep down inside, something roused me to sing anyway. So I did. I've always sang in the car, in the kitchen, alone in my room, quietly at night, in school choir, and in church worship. Just recently however, I've realized that my voice is a gift, not for me alone to enjoy and keep hidden, but for others to hear and feel as well. God did not give me this talent and passion so I could entertain myself when I'm bored, or so that I could fill the house with noise when it's too quiet. He created this voice with the purpose to SING! To declare my testimony, to glorify His name, to express His love for His children in a tangible way. I'm a singer because primarily and indispensably, I am a disciple of Jesus Christ.

Hi, blogging world.

Ahhhhh! First ever blog post, guys! (who ever "guys" is)
Now, don't expect anything fancy or cutesy from me...at least for a few months, while I get acquainted with everything. Don't even expect my writing to be anything close to eloquent or beautiful.
I'm really quite shocked that I'm doing this, because I swore up and down that I would never be a "blogger" and would never "follow" any blogs. But once my sister started blogging, I was hooked. A little something inside me has been encouraging me to blog ever since I read that first post from Alicia. From that time on, I've been very timidly "following" other friends and family members through their blogs.
So what led me to start my own? Well, first and foremost, I'm making this for myself. Because I need to write in my journal, but I don't. I absolutely love writing in notebooks (I own about 50) with my favorite blue ball point pen, but my hand can never keep up with my thoughts. So instead of getting an emotional release through writing, I become frustrated and annoyed. Therefore, typing out my thoughts seems like the obvious solution. Alright, that makes sense, but why make my journal entries so public? One of the reasons is because I like to be accountable. I've realized recently that I don't follow through with things unless I'm accountable to someone. And being accountable to myself doesn't work, because I'm more motivated to serve and please others than myself. (Something I'm working on) Blogging makes me accountable for my words, because I'll be sharing them for potentially the world to see. This forces me to be honest, sincere, and vulnerable with my thoughts and feelings. Blogging also makes me accountable for making time to actually write, hopefully consistently. Whether someone reads my blog or not, knowing that this is public will make me want to write, share, and keep it updated.
So, hello to the world of blogging. I am here. This is me, and I'm ready....please be kind.