write.

I'm not sure what format this blog is going to take: a journal, scrapbook, tutorial, dream recorder, novel, list-keeper, diary, who knows! I just need to write. This need and craving to express myself is boiling in me, almost to the point of a rage, and writing is one of the most expressive and therapeutic ways I know how. This is going to be raw, unpolished, and unpresentable. But it's also going to be utterly honest, freshly emotional, and 100% Andrea; which is exciting, scary, daring, risky, liberating, and humbling all at the same time.
I feel irresponsible and defiant right now. I have clothes to hang up, songs to practice, hair to fix, and a dinner to pack. Yet, here I am, lounging in my sweats, sitting at my desk, typing some thoughts into the computer.
I have a voice, and it is begging me to let it be heard. For the longest time, I held this belief that what I thought, felt, perceived, and experienced was everything but notable. Yeah, my life mattered, but not enough to be shared. For so long I've been working on being quiet, being a peacemaker, being an intent listener. While inside I've been fighting my desire to speak, to question, to maybe even be frank and opinionated. Not-uh. No more fighting this. Not me. Heavenly Father did not bless me with my personality and strength and testimony so I could be a quiet bystander. No. He has called me to be a leader and example-to stand up and stand out. How could I ever accomplish those things by being quiet? I will not be ashamed of the gospel of Jesus Christ. I will not be ashamed, any longer, of my past, my inadequacies, my opinions, my beliefs, my passions, my faults, or my talents.
By letting my light shine and by making my voice be heard, it will only "...burnish more brightly the symbol of Him whose name [I] have taken upon [me]. And so [my] life must become a meaningful expression, the symbol of [my] declaration of [my] testimony of the Living Christ, the Eternal Son of the Living God."
-quote adapted from Gordon B. Hinckley