I'm in a dinner group (isn't that awesome?) and today was our first day. Thirty-three residents of my apartment complex gather in groups to cook dinner for each other monday-thursday each week. I'm responsible for cooking for 8 people on Tuesday twice a month. This means that I only have to cook dinner three nights a week! It's fabulous. Good food, great company, and much needed savings. Plus, it's an easy way to make thirty-two new friends!
There's something magical about 8 strangers gathering in one place to feed their stomachs. Inevitably, their spirits will be nourished as well. Between food-chewing-silences, there's smiles, laughs, and memories shared. There's a feel-good something in the air that we all sense, which effortlessly creates a cozy bond.
Food can be such a joyful part of life.
Monday, January 30, 2012
Friday, January 27, 2012
Friday
It seems that I may be developing a bad habit of not posting. This makes me sad :( But I only have time to write a quick update.
I've always loathed salespeople. I promised myself I would never date one, marry one, or be one. And yet, here I am reading "The Psychology of Selling" and practicing my door approach...evidence that God has a sense of humor.
I rediscovered my love for Failblog.
I love my roommates. They're awesome and beautiful and wonderful and smart and funny and nice and don't resent me for being the "Scripture Nazi" and we make a good looking temporary family.
[roommate picture should be coming soon]
BEWARE. Cleaning chemicals are hazardous and can cause serious damage to your lungs if large amounts are breathed in.
The best part of living on your own is eating what you want, when you want, as often as you want. At this moment, I'm eating a bologna sandwich (yum) with potato bread (yum) and dijon honey mustard (double yum) Each time I make a bologna sandwich I think of these three things, in this exact order, without fail. 1) coming home from elementary school and eating bologna with cheddar cheese, maybe a pickle depending on my mood. 2) The scene in "Blue Crush" in which Kate Bosworth makes a bologna sandwich and slaps on loads of mayo. (this scene makes me crave one intensely bad) and 3) "my bologna has a first name, it's o-s-c-a-r..."
Boys are lame. This is universally true; even in hot-boy-capital-of-the-world.
Speaking of, here's some advice for boys: most girls (especially this one) love flowers. Flowers are perfect for birthdays, anniversaries, special occasions, or for no reason at all. However, pink roses on a first date may be interpreted as creeper status and a little too forward.
I love the Book of Mormon. Plain and simple. It's the most powerful witness of Jesus Christ that I believe exists.
Tomorrow is my big test day! I owe my good friend, Kayla a HUGE THANK YOU for being my math tutor. She was a patient and helpful teacher. I most appreciated laughing along with her about how ridiculous the questions were or how pathetic my math knowledge was. I'm not worried about the test, but I really should have taken this in high school because I would have been exponentially more prepared. Regardless, there's no sense in dwelling on the past.
Brooke and I went apartment shopping today for Fall semester and we both agree that living costs too much dang money! As well as, Provo apartments are the epitome of ghet-to!!! Who wants to run away to a beach somewhere and live off of sun, water, sand, and braiding hair?
Costa Vida's sweet pork is to die for. My favorite quote of the day is "if Costa Vida's sweet pork is in hell, but not in heaven, then I'm going to hell."
I'm extremely grateful for the people God places in our lives. Each person plays a specific and important purpose. This week, I'm especially grateful for my dear friend, James. He never ceases to teach me how to be more real, honest, sincere, genuine, witty, and full of life.
Each day I get more excited for the adventure that this summer is going to be. I strongly believe that every house should be armed with a security system. How rewarding will it be to provide families with the best security systems in the industry. I look forward to helping people protect the things they value most in life. I look forward to knocking on one last door even though my spirits are down and my feet are aching. I look forward to cheering on my friends and teammates as they succeed. I look forward to exploring every inch of Seattle I can and consuming as much fresh seafood that is humanly possible. I look forward to looking back on this summer and thinking "yeah, I did that. I worked my butt off, accomplished more than I thought possible, and had the time of my life doing it."
Also, I'm now a model for True Home Security. (I think that's pretty cool) When my picture shows up on their website, I'll let you know so you can check it out, or not check it out...whatever tickles your fancy.
Note to my future husband: can we please be one of those adorably precious old couples that still show age appropriate public displays of affection?!? Pretty please!?
I've always loathed salespeople. I promised myself I would never date one, marry one, or be one. And yet, here I am reading "The Psychology of Selling" and practicing my door approach...evidence that God has a sense of humor.
I rediscovered my love for Failblog.
I love my roommates. They're awesome and beautiful and wonderful and smart and funny and nice and don't resent me for being the "Scripture Nazi" and we make a good looking temporary family.
[roommate picture should be coming soon]
BEWARE. Cleaning chemicals are hazardous and can cause serious damage to your lungs if large amounts are breathed in.
The best part of living on your own is eating what you want, when you want, as often as you want. At this moment, I'm eating a bologna sandwich (yum) with potato bread (yum) and dijon honey mustard (double yum) Each time I make a bologna sandwich I think of these three things, in this exact order, without fail. 1) coming home from elementary school and eating bologna with cheddar cheese, maybe a pickle depending on my mood. 2) The scene in "Blue Crush" in which Kate Bosworth makes a bologna sandwich and slaps on loads of mayo. (this scene makes me crave one intensely bad) and 3) "my bologna has a first name, it's o-s-c-a-r..."
Boys are lame. This is universally true; even in hot-boy-capital-of-the-world.
Speaking of, here's some advice for boys: most girls (especially this one) love flowers. Flowers are perfect for birthdays, anniversaries, special occasions, or for no reason at all. However, pink roses on a first date may be interpreted as creeper status and a little too forward.
I love the Book of Mormon. Plain and simple. It's the most powerful witness of Jesus Christ that I believe exists.
Tomorrow is my big test day! I owe my good friend, Kayla a HUGE THANK YOU for being my math tutor. She was a patient and helpful teacher. I most appreciated laughing along with her about how ridiculous the questions were or how pathetic my math knowledge was. I'm not worried about the test, but I really should have taken this in high school because I would have been exponentially more prepared. Regardless, there's no sense in dwelling on the past.
Brooke and I went apartment shopping today for Fall semester and we both agree that living costs too much dang money! As well as, Provo apartments are the epitome of ghet-to!!! Who wants to run away to a beach somewhere and live off of sun, water, sand, and braiding hair?
Costa Vida's sweet pork is to die for. My favorite quote of the day is "if Costa Vida's sweet pork is in hell, but not in heaven, then I'm going to hell."
I'm extremely grateful for the people God places in our lives. Each person plays a specific and important purpose. This week, I'm especially grateful for my dear friend, James. He never ceases to teach me how to be more real, honest, sincere, genuine, witty, and full of life.
Each day I get more excited for the adventure that this summer is going to be. I strongly believe that every house should be armed with a security system. How rewarding will it be to provide families with the best security systems in the industry. I look forward to helping people protect the things they value most in life. I look forward to knocking on one last door even though my spirits are down and my feet are aching. I look forward to cheering on my friends and teammates as they succeed. I look forward to exploring every inch of Seattle I can and consuming as much fresh seafood that is humanly possible. I look forward to looking back on this summer and thinking "yeah, I did that. I worked my butt off, accomplished more than I thought possible, and had the time of my life doing it."
Also, I'm now a model for True Home Security. (I think that's pretty cool) When my picture shows up on their website, I'll let you know so you can check it out, or not check it out...whatever tickles your fancy.
Note to my future husband: can we please be one of those adorably precious old couples that still show age appropriate public displays of affection?!? Pretty please!?
Thursday, January 12, 2012
Thank You
I'm giving a shout out to all janitors, moms, dads, custodians, caretakers, maids, and anyone else who falls under the umbrella of professional cleaners: YOU GUYS ROCK!
I especially want to thank each custodian who humbly scrubbed every vomit-inducing-student-bathroom during my schooling years.
To my sister who partly paid for college by working as a janitor: My respect for you has increased by three-fold. I don't know how you did it, as squeamish as you are. You're remarkable.
And to those house-keepers who have always provided outstanding service during my hotel stays, I say thank-you and...I'm impressed!
Garbage man: you have a cool truck but still, a nasty job. Thank you!
Those poor souls who get stuck with the job of cleaning out port-a-potties, I'm sorry but also, thank you!
ABOVE ALL, to my mom and step-mom, I sincerely and deeply THANK YOU for never allowing me to grow up in an unsafe, unhealthy, untidy, or unsanitary environment. Our homes were, at their best: picture perfect, and at their worst: untidy. Thank you for teaching me the value of old-fashioned-put-some-muscle-into-it house cleaning. Thank you for raising me in a lovely and bacteria-limited habitat. And thank you for prioritizing your children's health and living conditions above your own desire to lay down and take a nap.
Okay, now it's my turn. I HAVE A JOB! YAY! Thank heaven my roommate found All Purpose Cleaners. Because of her, myself and A were able to get hired as well! I love working with two of my roommates; the three of us make a fabulous team! Wednesday was my first day. A and I cleaned a home in Spanish Fork. It took much longer than we expected, but the customer was exceedingly pleased with the results. That night, M, A, and I got to clean the warehouse of a scrap-booking company! What an adventure! The building was enormous, dark, and made eerie creaking noises but there were also gallons of glitter, hundreds of markers, and millions of decorative paper assortments to behold. This job required a lot of work, though. By the end we were very proud of ourselves and flat-out exhausted.
It feels so GREAT to be working again! I'll probably need to find a second job because this one could be considered less than part-time, but it pays well and I'm happy to finally be EMPLOYED once more!
I especially want to thank each custodian who humbly scrubbed every vomit-inducing-student-bathroom during my schooling years.
To my sister who partly paid for college by working as a janitor: My respect for you has increased by three-fold. I don't know how you did it, as squeamish as you are. You're remarkable.
And to those house-keepers who have always provided outstanding service during my hotel stays, I say thank-you and...I'm impressed!
Garbage man: you have a cool truck but still, a nasty job. Thank you!
Those poor souls who get stuck with the job of cleaning out port-a-potties, I'm sorry but also, thank you!
ABOVE ALL, to my mom and step-mom, I sincerely and deeply THANK YOU for never allowing me to grow up in an unsafe, unhealthy, untidy, or unsanitary environment. Our homes were, at their best: picture perfect, and at their worst: untidy. Thank you for teaching me the value of old-fashioned-put-some-muscle-into-it house cleaning. Thank you for raising me in a lovely and bacteria-limited habitat. And thank you for prioritizing your children's health and living conditions above your own desire to lay down and take a nap.
Okay, now it's my turn. I HAVE A JOB! YAY! Thank heaven my roommate found All Purpose Cleaners. Because of her, myself and A were able to get hired as well! I love working with two of my roommates; the three of us make a fabulous team! Wednesday was my first day. A and I cleaned a home in Spanish Fork. It took much longer than we expected, but the customer was exceedingly pleased with the results. That night, M, A, and I got to clean the warehouse of a scrap-booking company! What an adventure! The building was enormous, dark, and made eerie creaking noises but there were also gallons of glitter, hundreds of markers, and millions of decorative paper assortments to behold. This job required a lot of work, though. By the end we were very proud of ourselves and flat-out exhausted.
It feels so GREAT to be working again! I'll probably need to find a second job because this one could be considered less than part-time, but it pays well and I'm happy to finally be EMPLOYED once more!
Monday, January 9, 2012
Update
I have been slacking in my personal journal and blog lately, and for that I apologize- to my readers, but mostly to myself. I've realized that when big emotional happenings occur in my life, whether they're negative or positive, I fail to write about them. I think the reason behind this is that I'm too overwhelmed with living, that sitting down for a minute to record what's going on is totally not appealing to me. If something sad or depressing is going on, I'm certainly not in the mood to write about it. On the other hand, if I'm in the middle of something fantastic and upbeat, then I definitely don't want to take a time-out from enjoying the fantastic-ness. What I'm left with is a relatively boring daily-log that skips significant portions of time. Based on this, and the disappearance of posts, you can rightfully conclude that events of major significance have recently occurred in my life. I will update you on one of these major events...
Monday December 26th was one of the suckiest days of my life. I was a mess: completely depressed and lonely and sad and discouraged and all things bad. I cried after Skyping with my family....and basically just kept crying. I felt dark and confused about a whole lot of things. All I could do was pray, cry, pray, ponder, and cry some more. I'm a believer in healthy complaining sessions, as long as they end with an action plan. So I told Heavenly Father my struggles and pain, but I wanted a plan, so I told him what I want in my life. I came up with something that looked like this:
I've realized now more than ever before that Heavenly Father is always near us, always watching, always concerned, and always protecting us. He doesn't make mistakes, and He never forsakes us. He's there in times of sadness and darkness. He allows us to struggle, sin, and feel alone or miserable because He knows those are the things that shape us into exactly who we need to be. He hates to see us struggle, He hurts when we hurt. But He allows it to happen because those are the ways He softens, breaks, molds, and shapes us into the gods and goddesses we're destined to be. He wants us so desperately to become like Him, and that is precisely why He blesses us with pain and trials.
Furthermore, you are never ever for a second alone in pain or grief, because the Lord Jesus Christ has literally walked through your wine press. He knows perfectly and intimately exactly how you individually feel. There has never been a person in the history of mankind that understands and has experienced the infinite, retched, blood-spilling anguish that Jesus Christ endured. You are NEVER alone.
I am grateful for this past season in my life when I felt scared, confused, discouraged, worthless, and so completely alone. I am grateful for the times I prayed without ever feeling like I got an answer because I know that it was during those times that the arms of my Father in Heaven were wrapped around me. I'm grateful to be the daughter of the most loving, perfect, powerful, and wise Father in the universe. I know that when my life is in His, hands, everything will be heavenly. By heavenly, I do not mean easy, rather beautifully divine.
Monday December 26th was one of the suckiest days of my life. I was a mess: completely depressed and lonely and sad and discouraged and all things bad. I cried after Skyping with my family....and basically just kept crying. I felt dark and confused about a whole lot of things. All I could do was pray, cry, pray, ponder, and cry some more. I'm a believer in healthy complaining sessions, as long as they end with an action plan. So I told Heavenly Father my struggles and pain, but I wanted a plan, so I told him what I want in my life. I came up with something that looked like this:
Purpose
Fulfillment
Challenging
Adventure
Passion
Gospel of Jesus Christ
Love
Talents
Service
Education
Memories
Family
Wife
Mom
Teacher
Volunteer
Explore
Travel
Creativity
Music
Leadership
Influence for good, love, and virtue
Meaningful relationships
I was praying like crazy, pleading for inspiration and direction, but all I wanted was a Priesthood blessing. (The Priesthood is the authority and power given to man on earth. I believe that worthy men who have been given the Priesthood are capable of acting in God's name, under His authority. Priesthood blessings can be requested by a person who has faith, in hope to be healed, comforted, or given direction.) Unfortunately, I'm living in a new town and I don't know anyone who could give me a Priesthood blessing so I felt hopeless.
At that moment of distress, my dad called me up and came to the rescue. He gave me some good counsel along with a pep talk. After hanging up, I felt better, but he gave me no solutions whatsoever...so I was still frustrated.
Tuesday night I drove up to Salt Lake City to see one of my bestest friends, Kayli. (I love her so much, she's amazing in every way.) She was in Utah visiting for the week. We had dinner, talked for hours, then checked out the Salt Lake temple lights. I ended up sleeping over at her Grandparent's house with her because I didn't want to make the hour and a half road trip back to Provo at such a late hour. Both sets of her grandparents were there, and her mom. They were all super super sweet and nice and welcoming.
In the morning, Grandpa L gave Grandpa T a priesthood blessing. Of course, I cried like usual because the spirit was so powerful but I was extra emotional because I wanted a priesthood blessing so terribly bad.
Several hours later I was alone in the kitchen with Grandpa and Grandma L. Struggling, I eventually worked up the courage to say something like "Jay, I have a favor to ask of you. Well you see, my dad isn't here, and I don't know any men in Provo and" immediately his eyes teared up, he grabbed my hand and said "bless your heart, I would love to give you a blessing." As you can imagine, I was all water works. Grandma L graciously walked over and gave me the kind of hug that can only come from a grandma...there was lots of love going on in that house.
OKAY SO THEN I received one of the sweetest most sacred Priesthood blessings of my life. Through this experience, I am able to more fervently testify that Heavenly Father is intimately involved in our lives, and He loves us more than our minds can comprehend. Heavenly Father's love and warmth was exponentially present in that living room. It was amazing. Kayli's mom took notes for me so I can keep the promises, blessings, and counsel forever. Again, lots and lots and LOTS of love was shared in that cute little house. Grandpa L even "adopted" me as a granddaughter. He is so sweet.
As I drove home, I was on cloud 9, or maybe even higher...I was so happy. I went to my computer immediately after getting home and looked up "Provo College." I had been to the Provo College website at least five times previously but I had never noticed the PTA (physical therapist assistant) program before. I felt impressed to set up an appointment with the counselor. About 10 minutes later, Kayli called and said "Hey! What do you think about selling security systems in Seattle this summer?" As she said that, the spirit overwhelmed me with warmth and goodness. My heart practically exploded from my body! "Oh my gosh! Yes!" I exclaimed. She briefed me with some info as I tried to find every reason to talk myself out of it, but I could not ignore the revelation Heavenly Father was sending me to DO IT. If it's at all possible, I became more elated than before. I felt incredible! That night, Kayli slept over at my house and we researched as much as we could about Seattle.
On Thursday I met with the counselor at Provo College about the PTA program. Again, I was inundated with the spirit. My heart and mind were filled with peace, hope, and confidence.There is no doubt in my mind that the Lord has led me to this exact place, at this precise time, to make these wonderful decisions.
It is my testimony and witness that Heavenly Father is knocking at the door, waiting for us to take a few steps of faith and let Him in to our lives. He is the Father of our spirits and He is closer than we suppose. My life is palpable evidence that He is loving, merciful, powerful, and all-knowing. I testify that we do not have to feel dark and burdened, because the Light of the World has invited us to "come follow me." Through the atonement of Jesus Christ, our lives may be filled with joy, peace, and light. The power to choose rests in our hands.
Furthermore, you are never ever for a second alone in pain or grief, because the Lord Jesus Christ has literally walked through your wine press. He knows perfectly and intimately exactly how you individually feel. There has never been a person in the history of mankind that understands and has experienced the infinite, retched, blood-spilling anguish that Jesus Christ endured. You are NEVER alone.
I am grateful for this past season in my life when I felt scared, confused, discouraged, worthless, and so completely alone. I am grateful for the times I prayed without ever feeling like I got an answer because I know that it was during those times that the arms of my Father in Heaven were wrapped around me. I'm grateful to be the daughter of the most loving, perfect, powerful, and wise Father in the universe. I know that when my life is in His, hands, everything will be heavenly. By heavenly, I do not mean easy, rather beautifully divine.
Friday, January 6, 2012
Silence
I've had many many hours to myself within the last month and I've discovered that there are many different kinds of silences that are unique unto themselves.
Some of the ones I love:
-Thick dense silence in a dark, enormous cave
-Silence as I pray in my car
-The silence and peace felt in the Holy Temple
-Closing my bedroom door from hours of cries, screams, and craziness.
-The silence after a dance party, long after tinnitus in my ears has stopped
-The silence in a library
-Silence around a campfire
-Silence while I'm reading the Holy scriptures
-The silence in Arizona, as the blazing sun slides under the horizon
-The shock and silence of earth and nature recovering from a monsoon
-The brief silence between the end of an emotional song and the audience's applause
-The crashing sound of the Pacific shore, you may disagree, but it's silent and still to me
-In the morning, snuggled under my covers, daydreaming in sweet silence
-A long, warm, and comfortable silence between me and an old, familiar friend
-Silence while I'm studying
The ones I hate:
-Silence as tests are being handed out in school, and hearts are thumping
-When I have something I desperately need to tell someone, but I can't, because I'm scared, and all I hear are my words repeatedly pounding in my head, and silence...because the other person is waiting, or thinking, or doesn't know what's going on in my head, so they don't ask, and I don't speak.
-Silence while alone in a big, empty house
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